TV Dinners for Dogs Endorsed by the AKC?

The American Kennel Club is moving heavily into cross-promotion. They have put their logo on plush toys and books, and now they are endorsing veterinarians and pet insurance. They have come out with their own now brand of microchip indentification, and now they are even putting their brand on TV Dinners for dogs.

TV Dinners for dogs? Yep, that's right. The latest money-grubbing venture of the AKC is to partner with JAKKS Pets to put out a "new line of premium meals for dogs made with natural ingredients and conveniently packaged in a week's supply of single serve portions."

It seems that some people have too little time to even feed their dog. The AKC does not see this as a problem; more of a business opportunity, and one more way to subsidize money-losing dog shows.

No doubt the AKC's rationalization is that if they did not endorse TV Dinners for dogs, someone else would; the same rationalization they have found so convenient when registering puppy mill dogs. As for JAKKS, it says it "feels the American Kennel Club stands for premium, high quality products that consumers can trust." Who told them THAT?

Perhaps the folks at JAKKS should research the American Kennel Club a little more. The head of the AKC has said his organization would register a blind, deaf, three-legged purebred pup with hip dysplasia and green fur. The AKC stands for nothing more than inbreeding and paperwork. It does not promise or guarantee a premium product in dogs or anything else, and never has.

But maybe that's exactly the kind of quality-control JAKKS is looking for in a branding partner. After all, it's not like this is a company that has ever made pet food products before.

In fact, this company has no factories at all; their expertise is in designing and marketing action figures, kites, water toys, and other crip-crap mass-produced by companies in China.

China? Yes, China; the country that most recently brought us toys coated with with lead paint, and toxic dog food that kills our pets. So eat up, lazy AKC people. Maybe these new TV Dinners for dogs will be fine.

Or not.

If things go bad, have no fear; you can always get a replacement dog, registered by the AKC, at your nearest pet store or puppy mill. Let the circle of commerce be unbroken!

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Junk Reporting on Junk Science

If you want to sell newspapers, just put out a headline saying something causes cancer.

Never mind that it's a claim, based on a single example -- a French Bulldog in Canada, and that its owners had to go all the way to Italy (talk about forum shopping!) to find someone who would assert a (perhaps) causal relationship based on no evidence what so ever!

Never mind all the controlled studies on the other side showing microchips to be safe.

Never mind that in the real world, even after millions of years of real-world use in cats and dogs (millions of dogs and cats over more than 15 years), this "phenomenon" has never been reported before.

"My God, man, what does science have to do with it? There are newspapers to be sold!"

And so it is with some amusement that I read the latest breathless report from the Associated Press about microchips. It seems that someone, somewhere, says they may have caused a few cases of cancer in mice. Oh the horror! Never mind that it's not the the microchip itself that causes some very small elevation in cancer risk, but the tissue inflammation surrounding some implants.

And never mind that ANY implant or injection (yes, yes, even a vaccine) increases cancer risk some miniscule amount undetectable in the real world (unlike, say, the number of lost or unrecovered pets, or the number of animals that die every year if they are not vaccinated).

And never mind that implanting a microchip in a mouse is about equal to implanting two large cell phones in my arm.

"Hey, no fair! You've been reading the science. And you're using rational thought! We're not trying to make sense, here, we're tying to make headlines."

Oops. Sorry. My bad.

"Besides, didn't you see that there is political intrigue involved? Former HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson approved the microchip technology and later joined the board of the company that makes one of the more common brands?"

Uhhhh . . . you're kidding right? You think the folks at the Food and Drug Administration run their reviews and approvals past the Secretary of HHS on a daily basis?

And of all items out there that an official might take a kickback for, you think it would be a low-cost low-volume thing like a microchip for cats and dogs, rather than a $4 billion-a year-blockbuster drug? Oh, that's rich!

Please don't tell me it's new information that corporations often invite former cabinet officials and governors to join their boards of directors? Think it through, eh? Let's not be led (once more) to Panic Street by junk reporting on junk science. Get a grip people!

But of course, some people are easily concerned about things they do not understand, while ignoring the dangers of the obvious. Did you ever notice how many people drive too fast, eat too much food, drink too much alcohol, don't exercise at all, don't read the instructions before starting a chainsaw, and fail to wear protective eye wear while operating power tools? Yet, these same people can be made to hyperventilate about a nuclear power reactor located some miles away, even as they live in a rock house and work in a concrete building that exposes them to more radiation in a month than they would get in a year if they lived in a wood-frame house located across the street from this same nuclear power plant?

These people sure are gullible. With too little information at hand, these folks are too easily made to jump through hoops over some contrived crisis. This is particularly frustrating to me because I know, for a fact, that there are real things to worry about.

You want something to worry about? Here's one: Dihydrogen monoxide. It turns out that most of our foods contain dihydrogen monoxide and that DHMO is a cancer-causing agent! In fact, DHMO has been found to have a role in:

• Hodgkin's Lymphoma
• Ewing's Tumor
• Chondrosarcoma
• Fibrosarcoma
• Multiple myeloma
• Colorectal cancer
• Leukemia
• Basal cell carcinoma
• Squamous cell carcinoma
• Malignant melanoma.

DHMO has also been implicated in global warming, acid rain, and can even be found in astounding amounts in our Arctic and Antarctic ice caps.

Worried about microchips? Not me! I'm worried about vast quantities of cancer-causing dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) contaminating America's environment and poisoning our bodies.

This is serious stuff, but instead of dealing with it, our politicians are being paid with your tax dollars, to turn a blind eye as companies stock it on our grocery shelves and pump it in (often leaking) pipes across our great nation.

In fact, I will bet my mortgage that you have dihydrogen monoxide in your house right now! In fact, dihydrogen monoxide is found in nearly every can and bag of dog food you are now feeding your pets!

Dihydrogen monoxide is serious stuff. It it is colorless, odorless, and tasteless. It is used as both an industrial coolant and solvent, and it is used in almost all nuclear power plants and chemical plants in this country.

How toxic is this stuff? This stuff corrodes metal. It is so toxic that, in a very controversial move, the U.S. Government is now using the threat of exposure to it as a way to "aggressively interrogate" possible terrorist prisoners overseas.

Yet, in this country, dihydrogen monoxide remains a common ingredient in junk foods we feed our kids and pet foods we feed our cats and dogs!

Yet, this same toxin is also the principle ingredient in most insecticides!

This is serious stuff, and THIS is something to be worried about! Visit the web site of the U.S. Environmental Assessment Center at DHMO.org to find out the truth about Dihydrogen Monoxide. Please, get informed now, while it's still possible to save yourself, your loved ones, your dogs, your cats, and all your other pets.

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Virginia's New "Gotcha" Vaccine Database

Is Virginia in the process of creating a new "Gotcha" dog licensing database?

That's the fear of some, including the Virginia Hunting Dog Association and the Fairfax Privacy Council who point to a new law that requires veterinarians to furnish city and county treasurers with detailed information about every animal receiving a rabies vaccination, including how many dogs a person owns, whether the animal being licensed is spayed or neutered, and the breed of the dog.

Beginning January 1, 2008, County treasurers will use this database to prepare and mail annual dog licensing bills to pet owners, just as they do now with real-estate and personal property taxes.

The purpose of the Virginia legislation appears to be to increase revenue by making sure all dogs are taxed and licensed. This money, in turn, will fund more dog catchers and spay-neuter programs within the state.

The problem is that this Virginia database can also be used for many other purposes, including helping pass and enforce breed-specific bans, mandatory pet sterilization laws, and per-house dog limits.

What is transparently clear is that the types of information being collected goes far beyond what is needed for simple tax collection purposes.

Dog vaccine databases such as this one may be the first step toward mandatory microchipping -- something both the AKC and the veterinarians will support, as both will make money on the deal; the AKC by selling microchips, and the veterinarians by implanting them.

Rest assured that this new "gotcha" dog database will NOT be kept private -- it will be sold to direct mail companies working for animal rights groups, and it will be given to animal control officers who will sort it by zip code, breed, number of dogs, and number of unspayed or unneutered dogs.

Do you have four dogs in a three-dog area? Expect a knock-knock visit from an Animal Control officer no matter how quiet and discreet you are -- and then choose which dog you will give up.

This database will also be attractive to insurance industry executives who will use it to deny coverage or raise insurance rates on folks who own certain "blacklisted" breeds such as Rottweilers, Dobermans, Pitbulls or even Collies.

So what can you do if you live in Virginia and this law passes? Here are five options suggested by VHDOA:

1. Give your vet the wrong address. This is easy to do, and your vet doesn't need your address anyway.
   
   
2. Get your dog vaccinated outside the state. If you live near Maryland, West Virginia, North Carolina or Tennessee, take your dog with you on an outing to a country vet. A rabies vaccine is good for three years, so you will not have to do this very often.
   
   
3. Get your dogs licensed before July 1, 2007 and make sure your vet does not send your contact information to the state. If you have to fill out a form, give your work address and your work phone number.
   
   
4. Find a vet that is willing to ignore this stupid law. The penalty for ignoring the law is only $10 per dog, and there is almost no chance the State will audit a veterinarian. If a vet want to keep you as a customer, he or she should be willing to follow your instructions and preserve your privacy.
   
   
5. Order your rabies vaccines by mail and give your dog the vaccine yourself. The cost of a 10-dose RabVac3 vial of serum that is good for dosing up to 10 dogs is just $12, and it's very easy to do. For more information on "vaccines for less," click here. Be sure to peal off the label on the vaccine bottle and fix it to your dog's paperwork -- it's not legal proof that a vaccine was given, but it should help if your dog ever bites someone. A rabies titer can provide further proof of vaccination if that is every required.

This stupid legislation passed the Virginia legislature by only one vote. If the blow-back from voters and veterinarians is serious enough this week, this law may yet be repealed .

Breed Clubs Do Not Run the AKC: Money Does

[Permission to cross post. Also see: this related story ]

Following the signing of a contract with puppy-mill distributor Petland, the American Kennel Club has begun to feel the heat.

Odds are still 7 to 3 that nothing will come of the protests (the AKC staff does not give a rat's ass what the breed clubs say), but there have been some small bursts of eloquence, nonetheless.

Former AKC Board member and current AKC judge Patricia Laurans (an eight-time Westminster judge) told the AKC Board (click on link for PDF of AKC Board Meeting minutes):

"I would like to call attention to every single Parent clubs’ that I know of code of ethics that says we will not sell to pet stores.

"I would like to call attention to the fact that, from my humble belief, we are selling our birthright for a few shekels.

"I would like to call attention that this is a club of clubs and that we are your constituency. We are the groups that are asked to help out with medallions, to work at shows, to educate the public, to make our clubs and our events more friendly so we can help increase registration on a volunteer basis.

"I would like to make note of the fact, and pardon me, I feel we are prostituting some of our values, I feel we are going against what I believe most of the members and member clubs would want to see happen, and I feel that we should have at least had some sort of way to give you our thoughts before contracts were signed, sealed and delivered. You said, and I supported the fact, that we don’t want to let the enemy in. I question the fact right now if the enemy is already here."

What was the reaction of the AKC hierarchy to this speech? Basically, they patted Ms. Laurans on the head, told her she was a naive fool, and asked her to shut up.

For example, Steven Gladstone, who is on the current AKC Board, said:

"With all respect, Pat, we have been taking their money for 75 years and cashing their checks....we have got to accept the fact, we are taking their money; and, yes, ... we are endorsing them with our papers. We are telling the world these people meet AKC standards. Now, you may not like that, but the fact is that we have lived off of that for the last 60 years."

David Merriam, Vice Chairman of the AKC Board of Directors, said:

"What has changed is that we have competitors, and these competitors now are in the pet stores. They’re in the commercial channels. And they say, 'Okay, it costs $15 to register a puppy, XYZ Registry will do it for $12, and we’ll kickback three dollars to the pet shop.' That’s the competition we’re in, and don’t believe that it hasn’t had an effect on our registration.

Every meeting, Jim Stevens relates the decline of our registration. If we are going to address this in a serious, honest and a realistic way, we have got to address that segment of the registration. That is the commercial. And that’s simply the answer.

If you want to tell the Board and your fellow clubs that we are willing to go inward, support ourselves, pay the price, then that’s a direction you can go. But I think if we go that direction, the American Kennel Club will not exist 100 years from today."

Bottom Line:What the breed clubs think has as much chance of shaping the AKC as rain water on a stone.

And besides, what are the breed clubs going to do, resign?

It would not matter to the AKC if they did. Look at the Border Collie and the Jack Russell Terrier to see what the AKC does if an existing breed club will not drink the toxic Koolaid being offered up. In both cases the AKC simply went out and recruited an ego-hungry group of fools to start a new breed club that was more than ready and willing to follow AKC staff direction.

At this point in the game, registrations and money wag the dog in the AKC, and the breed clubs have little or no control over what the AKC does.

And from the AKC staff's perspective, why should they? After all, it's not like the AKC breed clubs are a major financial engine within the organization.

In fact, from a purely cash-and-cost point of view, the breed clubs are revenue calfs sucking money out of the AKC -- a lot of money

The folks paying the bills -- the cash cows producing most of the milk -- are the dog breeders who are not members of breed clubs, and whose canine philosophy can be boiled down to two short sentences: "Puppies are cute," and "I clear $3,000 a litter."

Of course the AKC is no better than these a cash-and-carry dog breeders. For them too, a litter of dogs is nothing but a profit center.

As for the Board of the AKC, they appear to be led by idiots. Business plans are not supposed to be 100 years long -- not even the Chinese think like that. Nor is the "Big Box Store" the best business plan model for the AKC. When people purchase a dog, they are not supposed to think of the animal as a bulk commodity, like beans and rice, but as a one-off purchase of a thing of quality. But that point of view is apparently not shared by the current Board of the AKC which voted 12-to-1 in favor of the Petland contract.

In truth, the AKC has fallen down a manhole. For as long as I can remember, their focus has not been on doing the right thing for dogs, but on keeping the money flowing.

Mr. Merriam, it appears, is more than willing to sacrifice principle and prestige to keep the Club going, but he is not willing to remake the AKC so that it is an organizaton identified with high-quality healthy dogs able to engage in performance functions. And above all, he is not willing to tender the idea of the AKC ever going out of business.

It seems that in the struggle to keep the doors open at the AKC, certain things can be discussed (like endorsing puppy mills), but others cannot (like moving out of their Madison Avenue digs in New York City in order to save millions on rent and salaries). The AKC Board of Directors and staff are willing to sacrifice dogs for cash, but they are not willing to tuck in the belt or pack up the bag for a move to Minnesota.

This is not to say that the AKC staff and Board of Directors do not have a clear view on some things. They are clearly right when they say the folks in the breed clubs are naive. After all, the AKC has been sucking on the puppy mill teat for more than 60 years - - on this point, nothing has changed.

Nor has this information been closely held: just "google" AKC and "puppy mill" and see how many hits you get.

Nor is the only AKC problem the "big wink" of puppy mill money. No one in the world of dogs can have possibly missed the genetic decline in dogs that has occured over the course of the last 60 years. The causal reason here is that the AKC and show ring afficionadoes continue to embrace the failed eugenics theories of the 19th Century (see Inbred Thinking for more on this topic).

And so we get down to it now, don't we? Will the AKC representative of the Border Terrier Club of America resign in protest and will the Border Terrier Club disenthrall itself from the AKC? Will it matter if it does? How about the representatives of the Parson Russell Terrier Association of America? What will it do? How about all the other breed clubs?

My bet is that the Board of Directors and staff of the AKC are betting right in their calculations.

In the end, most breeders and show ring enthusiasts in AKC breed clubs will lower their heads and shuffle forward like cattle. They have always done so in the past. A few dozen may bawl and mew, and one or two may even jump the fence, but it's a big country and the AKC will replace them quickly and move forward.

In truth, I think very few people will make a stink.

And why should they? After all, the AKC is simply doing what it has always done. In for a penny, in for a pound.

It would be silly for anyone in the AKC quit over the Petland deal because, as AKC Boad of Directors Chairman David Merriam notes, all the AKC is doing now is telling the truth and putting their ethics in the front window for all to see. Anyone who quits now is quiting not because of the practice of taking cash and doing business with puppy mills, but because they are embarassed at being seen as part of the deal.

To which I can only advise: "Don't do things you are ashamed of." But then, I am a bit of a Puritan, aren't I?.

As for the AKC, their longterm business plan is not much of a secret. The AKC has teamed up with the Humane Society of the United States and PETA to push for legislation mandating the microchipping of all pets. This is a great idea as far as the AKC is concerned, as they happen to own one of the most popular microchip products around. PAWS legislation would, in effect, be a multi-million dollar subsidy for the AKC.

The AKC is also getting into the heath care and insurance business -- two notoriously crooked arenas. The AKC figures it will be able to make many millions of dollars in kickbacks from veterinarians, while the veterinarians will get a steady supply of gullible customers -- a win-win for everyone but the consumer.

Gilding the lilly is the fact that the AKC will have a steady stream of veterinarians willing to speak up and testify on the AKC's behalf should a reporter come poking around asking hard questions. The veterinarians, in turn, will give the AKC their "seal of approval" (doctors are generally trusted by the public), while the AKC will give the veterinarians their seal of approval (after all, who is better qualified to "certify" a veterinarian than the AKC?).

At the same time that all this is going on, the Humane Society, PETA and other lunatic fringe "animal rights" groups have been successfully pushing legislation that would require all non-show dogs to be neutered or spayed. These laws are ostensibly designed to reduce the number of "unwanted" puppies in America, and mandatory spay-netuer laws have already been embraced in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and are under consideration in places as diverse as Sacramento, New Jersey, and Virginia.

Is it just a coincidence that these mandatory spay-neuter laws will have a very positive benefit for the AKC? After all, if enough of these laws are passed, the end result will be that almost every dog in America will come from a show breeder (most of whom will be affiliated with the AKC) or a commerical breeder (with whom the AKC will have a licensing contract). How perfect is that?

The AKC says it opposes mandatory spay-neuter laws, but their opposition has been pretty tepid as far as I can see. In truth, I suspect the AKC is simply on the road to another "Big Wink" in which they profess to oppose something (like puppy mills) even as they maneuver to make more money from the "inevitable" (like puppy mills).

Like Brer Rabbit they warn, "Don't throw me into that briar patch."





Why are all of these shenanigans necessary? To put it simply, this puppy-mill seal of approval scheme is necessary because the American Kennel Club is producing a product fewer and fewer people are willing to buy. The secret is out that Kennel Club dogs are no better than any other kind of dog.

In fact, due to the Kennel Club's long embrace of inbreeding and line breeding, AKC dogs may be less healthy than a cross bred dog collected from the pound.

Failing businesses are insidious places because owners and managers are so often willing to do unethical things in order to try to stay afloat. In a failing church the pastor may torch the building for the insurance money. In a failing dry cleaning business, the proprietor may report only a portion of his income to the IRS. At a failing construction company, the owner might stop making OSHA-required safety improvements or stop paying into the pension fund. And, of course, at the AKC you end up endorsing the puppy mill industry and price-gouging veterinarians.

From the point of view of the AKC Board of Directors, of course, "something" had to be done to bring in more money. After all, the Club is only running a net profit of $5.7 million a year. Clealy what is needed is more money, more money, more money.

The problem is that while are a thousand and one ways to spend money at the AKC (an expensive building on Madison Avenue, an expensive New York City staff, a magazine that no one reads, lawyers and lobbyists, lots of travel, etc.), there are precious few ways to raise revenue.

Forget the dogs shows -- they consume money (a $10 million loss in 2005), they do not produce it. Behind every AKC rosette is puppy mill dog making that rosette possible. Say what you will, but the AKC is not givng up those rosettes. The show must go on.

Which leaves us with the central dilemma faced by the AKC Board: How to "make the nut" from year to year.

A core element in the AKC solvency scheme has always been to mass-produce registrations for mass-produced dogs. And really, the AKC is not doing anything different now than what it always has.

Sure it's a bit of a leap in the dark and a calculated risk that there will not be a mass exodus of dog breeders from the AKC's roles.

But the AKC has done the math, and they know their audience and their business. That audience is human, not canine, and the business is ego, not better-bred dogs.

And so, when the day is done, I expect a small flury of outraged mewing and bawling from the cattle, but in the end most will march smartly through the gate at their next AKC show.

Sure a few old cranky's will walk away in a huff, but so what? The AKC is a business, and the bottom line is the bottom line.

In a few years the Petland deal will be seen as a "normal" thing, and the new cattle coming into the feed lot will pay it no mind, while the AKC itself will be able to "keep on keeping on" -- Madison Avenue offices, inflated salaries, and puppy mills profits as usual.



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