Lost: Two Working Terriers

That got your attention, eh? No worries, though. My dogs are actually fine. What's been lost is the weight of two working terriers off of my never-too-well-toned body. I am down 24 pounds since September 10. My goal is to lose 18 more pounds by Christmas or, to be more precise, the weight of one over-large border terrier. Gonna do it too. The secret is ... wait for it ... less food. Apparently more exercise does not hurt either.

Someone should really write a book about these little weight-loss secrets. I mean, who knew?

For the record, I have never gone to a gym before in my life, so this is an entirely new experience for me.

Here's the good news: Everyone leaves everyone else the hell alone. You just go in, crank like hell for an hour or so, and then walk out a bit wobbly. Nothing to it and nobody bothers you. I never talk to anyone, which is how I like it.

And no matter what you look like, I guarantee there are a lot of folks at the gym who look even worse than you do or I do. Thankfully, no one cares.

In fact, the folks I admire most are not the young hard bodies (who I suspect are narcissistic), but three really fat guys who keep showing up day after day. They sweat it out in aerobics classes (they are often the only guys) and come out looking like they walked through a monsoon. And then they stretch some, and hit a few weights.

To be clear, these guys are enormous -- maybe 180 pounds overweight. But it is their sheer bulk that makes their effort and willingness so extraordinary and heroic in my book. I stand in awe of these guys.

Their initial size is so big that it's hard for me to tell if they are losing, or how much, but I do know one thing: they are doing something admirable. I do not know what got them into the shape they are currently in, but I do know that something has risen up inside of them, and it is that hard flinty spiritual thing called a willingness to go to any length. It is a force so powerful you could light your own lamp from the glow.

But, of course, this is not the kind of thing you can tell people to their face. It would sound condescending, creepy, or worse. After all, the subtext is still: "Dude, you are enormous." Which is not the message I want to convey. What I really want to say, is "Your willingness to change is so awesome." And the bigger they are, the more awesome that is.

These guys may be physical wrecks right now, but if they keep going for six or nine months (they are so big, it is going to take that long), they are going to look very different. The trick to change is time. If the pick up the wreckage every day, and do a little something every day to build something new, you will get a new construction in time. Going the distance is everything.